AS TOLD TO BC PIRES

My name is Marc Trinidad, and don’t ask me why it’s not Marc Tobago.

I’m a standup comedian and my Canadian comedy mentor Kenny Robinson christened me as Marc Trinidad.

Changing anything said by the legend who gave birth to black Canadian comedy 40 years ago is like changing a Kitchener melody. You can. But why would you?

I was born in Belmont, but spent my foundational years in Carenage. Creating as much havoc for my parents as their strained nerves could handle.

I haven’t stopped annoying my parents (but) I have a new empathy for them. I surely wasn’t the easiest of their four children and I have my own brood of four now.

My wife is Dene. Our kids, Marque Savannah, 24, Maryse-Soleil, 17, Melanie Schye, 16, and Myles Stoane, 12, are all artists.

Dene and I are happily married 27 years later. Cue Disney music.

This unrelenting Fatima boy stalked my wife – proud, black, strong and stunningly beautiful – like the great Masai tribesmen. She was unable to defend herself. She could run but I’d get my prey.

Hey, this sounds stalker-like now but it was romantic in the 80s. I’m not Danielle Steele, okay?

We traded laden mango trees, Sunday cricket and sandy beaches for maple syrup, hockey rinks and a guy called Drake in a frozen tundra called Canada.

I don’t think (my kids) have forgiven me for that. I’m fortunate my demon seeds still have their grandparents to witness my hair greying and falling out.

It’s hard to remember Holy Name Prep because of being sent to the office for the discipline of the 70s, a time of Blaxploitation and Hong Kong kung fu movies.

Yes, I’m alluding to corporal punishment via leather straps soaked in brine. The nuns looked like Shaolin monks from the 36th chamber.

I was happy to pass my Common Entrance for my next station of penance, Fatima College.

My older brother went there too but after me, they retired the family name from the books. Too many trips to Dean Sindurji’s and Principal Pantin’s office. I honestly think that’s why my younger brother went to Trinity College.

Meh, maybe it’s a conspiracy theory and the earth is flat. If I fall off an edge, I’ll let you know.

The two main results of (religious school) discipline were, one, I would never strike my kids.

And two, I don’t subscribe to a god or gods theory.

Standup comedians tend to be contrarian and anti-authority. These are things that a follower cannot understand or spend time (contemplating). Part of my problem with religion is that I like to ponder.

Religion wanted to provide the answers without showing the working. I prefer science and history to provide answers to my questions.

I don’t debate. I do ponder though, in my podcast, Marc Trinidad, I Don’t Know S--t.

My kids are encouraged to question everything, including my opinions and choices. They inherited my, DNA b