DR RADICA MAHASE
“Fathers play an important part in any child's life, whether the child is neurotypical or otherwise, and we should grasp that role and steer them on the path to achieve their full potential, despite the many obstacles they might face.”
These are the words of Imran Daniel, father to eight-year-old Zidane, a talented musician who was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
On November 19, Trinidad and Tobago joins the international community in celebrating International Men’s Day (IMD)). One of the six core objectives of International Men’s Day is to celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, childcare, and preservation of the environment.
IMD founder Dr Jerome Teelucksingh noted, “There is a gender gap in which gender imbalance or reverse gender discrimination is accepted as the norm. Governments and organisations tend to focus on women and implement policies to cater to the development of women. Attempts at interventions and counter-measures to include boys and men in the inequality debate appear superficial.”
In the special-needs community, there has been a general lack of focus on fathers who are raising children with autism and other special needs and disabilities in general. As a society, we focus on the deadbeat dads, the ones who don’t fulfil their parental responsibilities. We do not think of the fathers who are there with their children every step of the way. The ones who find extra work so that they can afford to pay for therapy or send their children to private schools. We don’t focus on the impact that caring for a special-needs child might have on their mental health, much less consider ways to offer support and to help them deal with their challenges.
[caption id="attachment_985548" align="alignnone" width="644"] I went on a mission to gather knowledge and resources to understand and tackle the challenge effectively. - Photo Courtesy - Robin Ramkissoon[/caption]
Research by A Burell, et al, has shown that “… fathers described receiving the diagnosis as a difficult and emotional time in their lives, equating it to grief and loss of the child they had been expected and prepared for.” Some fathers feel an added responsibility as they support the mother of their child and the wider family.
According to Daniel, “When my child was diagnosed, my initial reaction was calm and collected. My only thought after hearing his diagnosis was on the way forward, and to see what avenues we can open for him. As a man, I knew what my role was in the family and the support I would offer my wife and other children at the time. At no point in time did I think it was a hindrance, but a chance to be the best dad I could be for him.”
Burrell, et al noted, “A first major step was seeking information, 'reading up about it' in order to better understand their child and ASD. Seeking information about the disorder may help fathers to maintain some sense of control over their circumstances – where the diagnosis of ASD has ripped asunder their expectations of p
