BY RUKUDZO M MANGOMA I REMEMBER fondly an experiment we held in high school  about density. We  tried to sink a tennis ball into a dish of water, the results were that the ball always popped up. Fast forward eight years later and this experiment led me to the observation that men and women are different and for a valid reason. The link between the tennis ball experiment and men and women is that no matter how much we try to deny and suppress both masculinity and femininity, they always find a way to pop up again. Men and women are clearly different from the way they look and even the way they express emotions. This is not a new discovery, ask any of these questions to my grandmothers and they would ask you: why are you stating the obvious? Keep in mind that my grandmothers have not gone to university, are not computer literate nor are they on social media, but a student in sociology or development studies will beg to differ. Their argument is that men and women are basically the same and that sexuality occurs on a spectrum, which means sex or gender is based on feelings not rational. I for one, with the option to choose between my grannies and graduates  would side with my grannies. To believe that men and women are the same is not true in anyway, it is to believe a delusion. A delusion is anything that goes against reality. For example, I can dream being a football sensation Christiano Ronaldo, but in reality I am not. In fact, I am not even Portuguese. As much as  people want to change from girls into boys and vice-versa, this in my view will not work. Like the tennis ball, both masculine and feminine characteristics will sooner or later reveal themselves. While researching endlessly, I  came across a story about a couple which did not want their daughter to conform to pink and blue colours nor play with dolls, so they bought her a miniature truck. One night when her father went to check on her, she responded by saying, “Sssh!, the truck is sleeping”. This is reality, the consequences of people believing in delusions and not reality will make them do foolish and reprehensible things. Food for thought, if men and women are the same, then why are women more selective in choosing a partner for an intimate relationship compared to men who are far-less deserving? Today, especially in the developed countries, men and women in tertiary institutions cohabit in their dormitories and even share the same bathrooms, a practice which was frowned upon five decades ago. This is because our forebears foresaw the danger associated with cohabitation. In my opinion, cohabitation is a scapegoat for marriage. This is because in cohabitation you will be basically doing everything that men and women do as husbands and wives. Cohabitation removes reasons for entering into formal marriages. This usually works to the disadvantage of women as they would have demeaned their sexuality. Other disadvantages of cohabitation are that it provides fertile grounds for pre-marital sex. Sex, to which we know is one of the highest forms of reaching emot