Dr Asha Pemberton
PARENTING teens is fraught with adventure. While they navigate the many goals and expectations of young people, parents also hold dear their dreams for their children.
There is an important difference between being smart and being wise, the latter being a more holistic approach to thinking and decision-making.
While educational systems focus on preparing and testing students using standardised examinations, parents are encouraged to think more broadly and support the development of wisdom in young people.
Wisdom is more than knowledge. It embodies the way in which we think and how we base opinion and reasoning from lived experience.
Young people who enjoy rich exposure to different cultures, communities and ways of thinking have a distinct advantage in being able to consider the perspectives of multiple points of view.
This not only supports their ability to communicate and relate to others, but impacts the way that they perceive life. They are far more open to a range of possibilities and do not have a fixed or close mindset.
These skills are extraordinarily important toward peer relationships, group skills and future personal or professional lives.
They are better able to apply knowledge in different contexts and arrive at a wider array of equally valid outcomes.
Young people gain wisdom through the dual processes of life experiences and guidance. They need to live through a variety of different scenarios, make decisions and then receive objective and non-judgemental guidance to help them make sense of all of those.
While parents often adopt the perspective that youth need to 'burn to learn,' this is not necessarily the case. Oftentimes, through open and frank dialogue, young people are able to make more impactful inferences about their life experiences.
With the attention paid to academic success and striving to 'always being correct,' young people can easily slip into the mindset that winning at any cost is acceptable. This sets the stage for potentially dishonest behaviours which can be justified in their minds. Instead, wisdom teaches the values of hard work, consistent effort and fair play.
Together these concepts encourage young people to give of their very best, always, and equally be appreciative and proud of those who enjoy better outcomes for their own hard work.
This mindset shifts the focus from only attainment and incorporates joy of the process and respect of the successes of others.
Overall, instilling wisdom in young people is founded on an overarching appreciation for spirituality, morals and goodness. WHumility is required to peacefully accept that one will not always be in winner's row and yet keep them keen toward striving forward.
Patience is integral to navigating the ups and downs that will inevitably occur. Consistency is the glue that holds together the efforts of daily life. Acceptance is the overarching principle that helps young people recognise that not everything is within their control and that ultimately other forces are a
