CONFLICT is inevitable. We will all face it, probably on a daily basis. The difference between a peaceful and stressful life is our ability to deal with it. When conflict is unresolved, blood pressures raise, fights occur, and relationships deteriorate. On the contrary, when conflict is resolved amicably, relationships are actually strengthened as people work through their differences. This is actually an area I wish companies would call me to work with them on because I believe time and resources are wasted on a daily basis in the workplace because people have not learned good conflict resolution skills. I am consistently shocked to find people would rather sabotage an individual they are mad at rather than work for the good of the company because of unresolved issues. The workplace is not the only place that suffers from bad conflict resolution issues. Marriages also suffer when two people haven’t learned these skills. I sincerely hope you can watch our TV episode on conflict resolution on our website www.ashleythaba.com/tv. We will teach you very practical skills on exactly how to resolve conflict. We will even give you examples of specific fights we have had and things we did wrong and things we did right, so that it is real and practical dealing with issues any one of us could face on any given day. In the recording of this show, a question was asked to us: What are a couple of specific techniques one could use to better solve conflicts? Below is our answer exactly as it appears in our marriage workbook, which can be bought on our website, www.ashleythaba.com. Here are a couple of practical methods to solve conflict more effectively. 1) Sandwich method — say a positive thing, the negative thing (area for constructive criticism), then another positive thing. Example 1: I am so grateful you put the energy into preparing dinner tonight. Do you mind if I am honest though that I actually don’t really enjoy eating this particular dish? Again, I am so thankful that you are always serving me, and I usually enjoy all your tasty meals. Example 2: You are such a great father; we are blessed to have you in our home. I have noticed though that you aren’t spending enough quality time with our son. When you yelled at him yesterday, I think you really hurt him badly. Could you please go and talk to him? I know he will appreciate that because you have always shown yourself to be a father who is attentive and loving so I believe he will forgive this mistake. The benefit of this method is that the person hears that they are good and not all bad. Most of the time, we are quick to criticise, but not so quick to compliment. The result is that people either tune off because they hate to be told how bad they are, or they feel so defeated that they lose the desire to even try because it seems like all you ever see is the negative anyway. Plus, even for you, the one bringing up the issue, it is a good mental exercise to force yourself to see two positives to every negative so that you also don’t unintentionally dwell on the negative and