DR MARGARET NAKHID-CHATOOR

SHE WATCHED the Catholic Mass on the television, as usual seated in her chair by the table. Something was different this time. Her daughter heard the screams and rushed out from the kitchen to see her 82-year-old mother hurling many objects at the television, shouting and rambling on about priests and what they had done to her when she was a child. She sobbed uncontrollably for several minutes.

When they eventually found him after days of searching, their father was lying on the pavement outside a clothing store, more than 50 miles from home. This university-degreed, 52-year-old man appeared disoriented and dishevelled. He did not recognise his sons at first. His abuse was horrific, as he was a travelling companion at 13 years, when the Irish priests went abroad on vacation, to the delight of his parents who saw this as a welcome opportunity for their son, trusting and believing.

Her mother did not listen to her, and instead shouted at her and "beat the crap" out of her when she did not want to go and play by the neighbour next door, who had four children of his own. After all, what harm could a married man with children of his own do? The abuse lasted from seven years until 12 years old, her younger brother also being abused. She became a black belt and had same-sex relationships only, to this day, the 56-year-old related. All she had wanted from her parents were a "listening ear, empathy and comfort" - their turning a blind eye hurt more than the act itself, she recalled. She left Trinidad and never returned, not even for her mother's funeral, decades later.

Why tell their story now? What are the stories out there that have not been told, but can be seen in frayed relationships, divorce and separation, panic attacks, phobias and nightmares? The memories that continue to haunt; the self-blame and guilt.

Paedophilia is an ongoing sexual attraction to pre-pubertal children and involves sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviours involving sexual activity. There is some evidence that people with paedophilic disorder have a higher rate of childhood trauma, including childhood sexual trauma, than average. Many of them were also sexually abused when they were children.

Paedophilic sexual offenders are usually family, friends, or relatives of their victims. Please note!

Building a culture

of safeguarding

In a recent interview, Pope Francis urged his Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors to pursue a 'spirituality of reparation' with abuse survivors and to build a culture of safeguarding to prevent priests from raping and molesting children.

This ongoing abuse of children in our society is not new. What is interesting is that older victims are ready to talk about the abuse and to seek help, urged on in many instances by family members. There are the usual excuses by the church that have been made for this heinous and criminal act by:

* Allowing priests/religious leaders to continue working in the church despite knowing that they hav