REFERRING to the adage "silence is golden," a religious leader officiating at the funeral of a murdered woman has called on people to embrace silence during this difficult time for the grieving family.
Pastor Victor Bowen repeatedly called on mourners not to discuss things that would cause harm and anguish to relatives.
He said, "The best thing you can do is be silent. If they speak, you listen; if they cry, you cry; if they smile, you smile. This Christmas is cancelled (for the grieving family). New Year's, worse yet, cancelled."
Bowen said the best way to stand with them is to stand with them.
"Her family was her everything. It is hard, and yes, we will question God in times of grief. It will take time. If God does not will something, it cannot be done."
He spoke at the funeral of mother of two Sherry Ann Roett, 46, at David Guide and Son Chapel in Couva on December 13.
Roett's body was found near a fish stall at Carli Bay in Couva on December 9. The self-employed merchandiser was initially believed to have died by suicide.
However, an autopsy revealed she died from blunt force trauma.
The pastor spoke of the pain of the victim's two teenage children.
[caption id="attachment_1126434" align="alignnone" width="1024"] Relatives and friends carry Sherry Ann Roett's casket at her funeral service on December 13 at David Guide and Son Chapel, Couva. - Photo by Lincoln Holder[/caption]
He said people may give them all the consolation in the world, but not even a psychologist can help them, because the grief of losing their mother blocked off every word.
Bowen stressed the importance of kindness and called on mourners to be mindful of what they had to say in paying tributes.
"I beg of you, please let your words be kind, and if you know you have anguish in your heart, do not share it on this platform, because it may cause more hurt."
He prayed for justice, and to the perpetrator, he added: "You will pay a price."
He shared the grief of losing his wife 29 years ago and having to care for a newborn and other children.
Bowen encouraged the family to be as giving as Roett was, and to cook and feed the poor on the 40th day after her death.
A relative identified only as Christi delivered the eulogy. She said Roett lived a life filled with adventure, joy and purpose.
Roett always spoke highly of her two sons.
Christi went on: "Sherry loved children and family, including her nieces and nephews. Her van was always full of snacks and surrounded by children. They would spot her from afar, and she was always buying treats like lollies. She loved little children.
"Family was the core of her life, and she had an extraordinary desire to bring everyone together. It was a reflection of her kind soul. Her laughter was contagious, and her energy was boundless and inspiring."
[caption id="attachment_1126435" align="alignnone" width="1024"] A mourner displays a poster of murder victim Sherry Ann Roett at her funeral service, held at David Guide and Son Chapel, Couva on December 13. - Photo by Lincoln H
