WHEN ONE thinks about the essentials of an intimate relationship, intimacy and communication often come to mind. Though separate entities, these variables run parallel, working in tandem to achieve and maintain stability in a relationship.
As nuanced as both concepts are, very few of us fully appreciate that intimacy in a romantic relationship goes far beyond the physical realm.
Do we truly grasp the full scope of intimacy in a relationship, or have we narrowed it down to just sex? It’s time to debunk this misconception and delve into the various dimensions of intimacy.
Intimacy, in its true essence, transcends our narrow perception of it being solely about physical affection. While physical or sexual intimacy is a significant aspect, it is not the sole or most profound form. Emotional and creative intimacy, often overlooked, play equally vital roles in fostering deep connections.
American psychologist Robert J Sternberg describes intimacy as feelings of closeness, connectedness and bondedness in loving relationships, including those feelings that give rise to the experience of warmth in a loving relationship.
Contrary to the popular belief that intimacy exists only in romantic/sexual interactions, creating deep and rich personal connections with friends, coworkers and family is more than possible. The more open-minded we are to learning about each other and building connections, the more likely we will make room for intimacy to blossom.
Intimacy, especially in the romantic context, heavily involves learning to trust each other while prioritising each other’s needs. It includes self-disclosure, emotional expression, trust, support, physical expression and a mutual experience of intimacy.
Following Sternberg’s teachings, other essential components of intimacy are the desire to promote the partner’s well-being, being able to rely on each other in times of need, mutual understanding, comfort in sharing personal possessions, giving and receiving emotional support, and intimate communication.
What Sternberg’s and all the other available research shows is that intimacy is far more than just sex. Intimacy can be physical or emotional, intellectual or creative and requires some level of vulnerability for it to exist freely. And once established, couples are bound to experience a sense of fulfilment.
For example, emotionally connected couples (who understand each other’s emotions and respond empathetically) are better equipped to handle stress and manage conflict within the relationship. This form of intimacy allows parties to feel heard, supported and understood.
While we might be quick to accept the benefits of physical intimacy, other forms of intimacy, like emotional and creative intimacy, can promote closeness and combat loneliness and depression. According to the research, this also means that having an extensive social network isn’t nearly as important as having deep, intimate connections, even with only a few people.
In an intimate partner relationship, it is very easy to get carried away wit
