DR RADICA MAHASE
“On a daily basis I struggle. I wake up on mornings and I think I am going to be positive today, but by afternoon I am physically and mentally exhausted.”
These are the words of Christine, a 45-year-old single mother of two sons on the autism spectrum – 14-year-old Dameion and ten-year-old David.
Despite her situation, Christine noted, “Yes, it is a daily struggle but at the end of the day they are my children, and if I don’t take care of them, who will? So I am always trying to come up with things to keep them busy, to keep them learning, because when they have a good day, then I have a good day.”
Christine said she has a "My Super Mom Plan" ideas that she uses to help her get through the day and she is happy to share them with other parents:
Accept your children – This is so important because when I am sitting at home and my son is having a meltdown, I am tempted to blame everybody and everything. I want to blame their father for leaving me to raise them alone, I want to blame God for sending them to me like this.
But blaming everyone else and praying that they didn’t have autism is not going to change them. So just accept your children as they are and don’t keep hoping that they will suddenly get "better" or "change" or develop into a "normal child.
Find something to believe in – Whatever your religion, however you grew up, you need something to hold on to, something that will give you that extra strength and help you get through the meltdowns and the crying and all the frustration that comes with raising a child on the spectrum.
"I was never a religious person, still isn’t, but I believe that the universe wanted me to share my journey with my two amazing boys. I believe that I am supposed to learn from them as much as I am supposed to take care of them. I believe that in the midst of all the struggles, the hugs and kisses I get and their smiles and laughter are there to remind me that the struggles are just one part of life, not all of life.
[caption id="attachment_888886" align="alignnone" width="683"] Parents need strategies to help them cope with raising a child on the spectrum. - Sataish Rampersad.[/caption]
Accept responsibility for your situation – Sometimes when I see more problems than I see solutions, I get angry and, in my mind, everybody does get a good cuss-up.
But when I calm down and I feel more in control again, I tell myself that I am the only one responsible for my situation. I tell myself that I have two children and they are my responsibility and I want to take care of them properly. On good days, when my sons are coping fairly well, I spend some time trying to come up with solutions to all the problems – I make a budget so I can spend the little money I have wisely, I try to figure out ways I can squeeze back some money.
I write it down because I know that some days, I don’t even have time to think about those things.
Cry if you have to and laugh when you can – I wish that every day will be good days for my boys, but that doesn’t always happen. So
