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Helping teens develop self-control - Trinidad and Tobago Newsday

Dr Asha Pemberton

teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

AS WE dive into the season of merriment and festivity, it is hoped that both young people and adults are able to demonstrate self-control when opportunities of indulgence arise. For many tweens and teens there will be luxuries of unsupervised free time, and access to foods and beverages beyond the daily norm.

Self-control is essential for personal development and decision-making. It is also strongly related to safety, as young people do not always have the control of their impulses that leads to good decision-making.

Adolescents demonstrate limitations in their decision-making capacities due to the relative underdevelopment of the prefrontal cortex. This means that while they are sometimes able to logically think things through, quite often they are vulnerable to fleeting impulses and the influences of peers. As a result, during celebratory times, young people tend to indulge beyond acceptable limits, or take chances with experimentation when accessible.

Throughout the teen years, parents quickly recognise that they are unable to supervise and micro-manage every moment of the lives of their young people. As such, teaching them the skills required to demonstrate self-control provides a much needed framework toward better judgement and safety.

Parenting teens is an art, more than a science. Every parent will bring forward aspects from their own experiences of being parented and combine them with the culture of the day and the developmental and personality needs of their child.

Some parents feel more comfortable creating an environment in which there are fewer opportunities for temptation, while others believe that young people should be exposed to options, in a measured way, and then learn from any consequences of poor decisions.

Regardless of the approach taken, young people need to learn the outcomes of behaviours. Through experiencing untoward consequences, they are better able to make more appropriate future decisions.

Self-control is a function of self-discipline. The ability to regulate oneself is not always intuitive, but requires specific skills. One of these critical skills is grounded in mindfulness. The ability to practise the pause, and then think before reacting.

Parents are encouraged to teach young people to stop, breathe, critically observe the situation around them and then proceed thoughtfully. This method prevents rash and impulsive decision-making by ensuring that time is taken to consider pros and cons and then take more thoughtful action.

Self-control does not mean strict or total absence of fun or joy. On the contrary, it supports regulation to the extent that young people can enjoy themselves without excesses that certainly lead to discomfort.

Culturally, this time of year presents an admixture of spirituality and splurges. Certainly it is possible to enjoy and celebrate the many aspects of the season without starkly overeating, inappropriate exposure to alcohol, or loss of boundaries that can lead to accidents, injury or eve

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